|'Humidity, humidity, humidity'|
I was putting together the puzzle pieces of our 2010 federal tax return when I glanced out my study window and saw a herd of nine deer meandering across our front yard and toward our flower beds during yesterday’s downpour. Hmm, I thought. Should I continue working on our taxes, or follow them with my camera as they browsed and explored?
The decision was a tough one, but as you can see, the camera and the deer won. I spent a quarter hour moving from window to window, from my study, to Ellen’s study, to our dining room, as the deer munched from south to north.
As I watched them explore and browse, I wondered what they were thinking. Indeed, do deer think as they interact with their surroundings? I thought of a way to answer the question for sure. I just happened to have in my pocket the “Deer Thought Interpreter” that I had gotten as a prize in a Cracker Jack box when I was a kid. I aimed it at them and was amazed, even shocked, when I heard what they were thinking. Here are some excerpts:
Top photo: “Humidity, humidity, humidity. I can’t do a thing with my hair. If that guy were a decent gardener, he’d have a few umbrellas stashed here and there.”
“Don’t look now, but that guy is at the window again with his camera. Don’t panic. Just slowly browse the clover and gradually move toward the flower beds. But keep alert. Sometimes he opens the front door and laughs when we run away. Anyone interested in running toward him next time he does that?”
“Hey, girls, look! Someone gave the fountain grass a crew cut. And what in the world is that white thing coming out of the ground? I’ve never noticed that before. But I guess it’s OK—it’s not moving.”
“Lamb’s ear’s yucky when green, yucky when freeze dried. Bearded iris is tough when green, tougher when dried.”
“Looky, looky! I found a fresh redhot poker leaf under all the dead ones. But, wow, it tastes and chews like a wad of string. I hear the guy tells people we rarely eat redhot-poker. Just watch me swallow this! I’ll wad it up slowly so he has time to get a photo.”
“Oh, no, someone got to my favorite azalea first and nipped off most of its buds. I’m a blooming idiot for forgetting to browse this shrub a month ago.”
“What’s this—rock candy?”